I Didn’t Mean To Ignore You

By Robert Kennedy III

I didn’t mean to ignore you.  I really didn’t.  You’re very important to me.  You’ve given me the opportunity to express ideas I never thought I could.  You’ve allowed me to explore who I really am in ways I may never have otherwise explored.

You have taught me that my perspective isn’t the only one that matters but it’s the only one I have.  I’ve gone back and forth many times about how much time we should ultimately spend together.  And, I keep saying I should spend more time with you.  But, I go through these phases and get busy.  But, for some reason, I always end up coming back.  Maybe it’s because I see you in my inbox everyday.  Maybe there’s guilt involved.  Maybe there is something I just won’t admit.  I don’t know the answer.  But you’re there.  You don’t judge me but your subtle presence makes me remember I shouldn’t ignore you.

It’s been almost three months since we last connected and while you haven’t been totally out of mind, I must admit I’ve gone elsewhere.  I haven’t stopped doing what we normally do.  I’ve just done some of it elsewhere.  Why?  Well, I felt like we were a bit too formal some days and I needed some place to express my heart in a freer way.  I needed to be able to say things without feeling like they wouldn’t fit in here.  So, I took my ideas and shared them using another medium.

In a few cases I got paid as well.  I opened my email inbox one day and saw you.  But, I was pleasantly surprised to see an email from Paypal letting me know I’d received a payment.  I wasn’t expecting it and I didn’t know where it came from.  It wasn’t a lot of money but it was unexpected.  So, I was a little giddy as while opening it.  I quickly realized it was from one of my “other places.”  I expressed my heart there and people clapped.  I didn’t understand before but over there, clapping can get you paid.  And yet, the money didn’t draw me away from you totally because I’m back.

Honestly, I can’t promise I’ll never leave again.  Sometimes a break is good.  And, I can’t promise I won’t go back to the “other place” because it felt good to get paid.  But, I can promise I will never totally ignore you.  That promise I’m sure of because you live in my signature.  So, I see you all the time.  Actually, because I see you all the time, you remind me of what I’m supposed to do.  You remind me of the promises I made to myself.  I promised I would take care of you.  I said I would contribute at least once a week.  You remind me I haven’t because you say the same thing every time I see you now.

Well, I’m taking today and turning it into a commitment.  I won’t leave.  I will take better care of you.  Because, the truth is, you’ve allowed me to meet some pretty neat people.  You have made ME a better person.  I’ve grown because of you and I owe you so much!

And so, dear blog, I promise today to take care of you at least once a week as you have taken care of me daily.