Sometimes, it’s not that you are over confident. It’s just that you think that your situation is so unique that no one else would understand. You think that no one else has ever gone through what you are going through now in the exact way that you are going through it. I’ll be honest with you. Just recently, I discovered that there were some things that I did incorrectly because I figured my circumstance was unique. There were some decisions that I made, things that I did, papers that I signed, people that I trusted, and situations that I placed myself in without consulting with anyone else. And now, I am feeling the pinch on some of those things. But, there is no one else to blame but myself.
You see, my dad always kept mentioning this word ‘mentor’ when I was young and I really didn’t understand what he meant. I thought that he meant for me to find someone, go sit in their office and just talk to them about life….sort of like a counseling session. But, I didn’t like talking much anyway, so I was SURE that these “sessions” were going to be not only BORING for me, but they would cause the other person to pull their hair out as well. My mind said that no one else was like me, so how would someone else interpret what I was trying to say and what I wanted to do? It was me, myself and I.
So, here I am, dealing with mistakes and thrilled about it. No, I’m not lying. I’m really thrilled about it. It’s an opportunity for me to create something new out of the mess that I made. It’s an opportunity to see the mistakes and share that experience with someone else. But, that’s also what a mentor could have done for me, if I had gotten the point earlier. Would I have made some mistakes still? Probably. But, having someone to share my thoughts with BEFORE I embarked upon a path might have allowed me to accelerate through or even past the mistakes. With a coach or a mentor, I might have been able to assess things a bit more quickly and differently.
Now, I recommend coaching because it’s one of the best ways to see yourself outside of yourself. I never understood the FEARS that I had until I hired a business coach. These were not just business fears, these were LIFE fears that I had been living with for a very long time. I needed help. And, I’ve thought of some reasons that having help might be important.
1. It’s really, REALLY, REALLY REALLY hard to do it on your own
Have you ever had a car shut off and then tried to push it by yourself? That’s TOTALLY not fun at all. Getting 3 friends to push with you? Priceless. You should do it some time. OK. That was a slight joke. But, the reality is that doing things on your own is not easy. Ask any single mom or single dad.
2. Even when you mess up, you can get out more quickly.
If you’ve ever been lost, you know what I am talking about. You’ve made a wrong turn and you are going around for hours, not knowing which way to go. But, it’s a HUGE relief when you meet someone who knows the area and can quickly tell you which way to go to get back on track. It’s so much easier now.
3. Your perspective isn’t the only one.
There are different ways to do things. Your way might not be wrong. But, it’s helpful to see the ways that other people have done this successfully. If you should hit a snag using your way, at least you might be aware of one other.
4. All successful people need it.
I don’t know of ANY successful people who have made success all by themselves. They all had help, advice, coaching, mentorship, guidance, something to help them navigate the uncharted territory (well, at least uncharted for them).
Now, to be clear, coaching or mentorship doesn’t only come through a physical person. Especially now, you can find that through blogs, podcasts, and reading. You can find some great help also through Mastermind groups and networking.
You may feel that you can’t “afford” to have a coach. However, I would recommend seriously considering it with EVERYTHING you have because as I mentioned at the beginning, I am paying for mistakes now. Believe me when I tell you that it is more than what I would have paid had I invested in a coach or mentor earlier.