How To Be Awesome At Wasting Your Time

By Robert Kennedy III

Your goal in life should be to be awesome at everything you do.  So, that counts even for the things that people don’t normally THINK of as awesome.  I say, if you going to do something, go for the gusto!  Give it all you’ve GOT!  Make it EPIC!! Be awesome at it!  So, let’s look at some top notch ways to waste your time.

1. Comparing your life to celebrities or reality stars – This is a perfect time waster.  If you want to be REALLY good at this, any show that begins with ‘The Real ________ of _________’, is for you!  These shows have people with awesome lives that are absolutely not scripted.  Watch the show first, then look at your life and figure out what you can buy that would make your life as close to theirs as possible.  AWESOME!!

2. Worry – This is something you should do the moment you wake up in the morning.  The reason you should do this is that if you don’t do it, someone else will.  Studies have shown that the people who worry the most get to go to the doctor more.  God knows that my kids love going to the doctor.  When they go to the doctor, they get to choose a lollipop after.  And who doesn’t like lollipops, right?  As a matter of fact, if you teach kids to worry from a very young age, they will go to the doctor MORE and therefore get more lollipops…..for FREE!!  AWESOME!!

3. Spend time looking up exercise programs online that you never plan to do – This is a winner right here.  This Shawn T character and the Tony Horton p90x guy, these guys are all the same.  They only really want your money.  They don’t really care about you personally.  So, the best way to stick it to them is just to look at their sites all day and never buy their stuff.  It’s sort of like window shopping having the sales person come up to you, offer help and then you never buy anything.  That’s right, they won’t pull the wool over YOUR eyes, I’ll tell ya that much!  One word for this….AWESOME!!

4. Write a fail plan – Now, some people have these things called goals.  But research shows that 90 percent of people either don’t set them or follow them.  Why?  Because the reality is that most sane people can’t stick to them.  That’s just not how we’re wired.  So, let’s turn the tables on it and come up with a fail plan.  That’s right.  Write a list of things that will go wrong today.  Then, go out and do everything in your power to make sure that they do.  See, the problem with most people is that they try to do things in a way that makes sense, like robots.  But you, spending time coming up with a fail plan is brilliant.  It’s actually just a few steps ahead of coming up with no plan at all.  This is a great plan…..NO, it’s AWESOME!!

5. Be a victim – Yep, that’s right.  Nobody likes you.  They sit up at night coming up with plans to ruin your life.  The whole WORLD is against you.  So, beat ’em to the punch.  Wake UP whining.  Walk into your office talking about how life is unfair and you have been set up to fail.  If you do this all before people actually begin to do anything to you, they will begin to see how smart you really are and realize that their attempts to thwart your happiness are doomed to failure.  As a matter of fact, you will even begin to appear as if you can predict the future since you are complaining before anything actually happens.

I was going to write some more but I am beginning to run out of AWESOME!!  Maybe you can help me out here.

What are some other AWESOME ways of wasting your time?

 

 

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