4 Steps To Guarding Your Confidence

By Robert Kennedy III

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It’s happened to us all at one point or another.  You feel really good.  You are soaring.  Your confidence is on 100.  But, then you see something that causes it to take a little dip.  All the gurus tell you about your mindset but you can’t seem to help yourself.  You see something and it causes you to take a little dip.

It’s natural.  Your confidence is like a bank.  There are deposits and withdrawals.  If you have $10 worth of deposits, a $5 withdrawal is going to bring you down a bit.  And, that’s ok because you still have $5 worth in the bank.  The issue for many of us is we are working on overdraft.  We only deposit $5 but allow $10 worth of withdrawals.

How?  What are we doing to allow this to happen?

I’ll use myself as an example because I’m not immune to this.  As a speaker, I’m constantly evaluating where I am in the journey.  I do this by looking at how far I have come and assessing what’s next and what’s ahead.  Often, when I speak or train, I check out the evaluations after the event.  I put my best in because I want to see what the people are saying after the event.  I want to know it brought them value.  So, when I see amazing evaluations, my confidence grows.  I look at the responses and say internally, “Yeah, I did a good job.  I brought my best today!”  And that is what we are SUPPOSED to be doing.  Our internal voice should never be afraid to celebrate especially when we are at our best.  That’s the voice we hear most often so we want to direct it instead of allowing it to control us.  I feed it as much positive energy food as I can so I can make it say things to grow my confidence.

“That was awesome, Robert!”

“You’re built for this!”

“You went out to serve people and you did a phenomenal job at it!”

“You are an amazing speaker and presenter!”

“You speak with energy, enthusiasm and passion!”

I say these things mentally but also practice saying them out loud because sometimes the internal voice needs to leave its cage.  If the external voice can match the internal voice, you’ve created a power packed duo which puts you on track for success.

However, there are times, I admit, when I let down my guard and allow my confidence to take a hit.  It starts when I get up and hop on to my email and my social media.  In my email, I immediately see emails from the mailing lists I am on telling me what I should be doing and what I am missing in my business.  Now, these are valuable emails.  But, sometimes in succession, you can get the feeling that you are missing out on so many areas of your business.  You can lose focus on where you are and what you are up to.  You can easily begin to say, “OMG, I’ve got to build my mailing list.”

“Wow, I’ve got to get business cards done.”

“Oh no, I need to put on an event, like TODAY!”

“Geez, I’m totally not doing my marketing funnels right.”

“Wow, I’m not cold-calling enough.”

“What? My uncle, the barrister, left me how many million?”

Hopping on Facebook doesn’t cure the issue because I’m now inundated with a gazillion friends doing Facebook Live and sharing ideas.  These are great, but you can begin to have the feeling you are not doing enough.  If you were, then you would be further up the success trail.  Everyone else out there is hustling for success and you’re not “on the grind” hard enough.  You’re not doing enough.  Before you know it, you begin to beat up on yourself and your confidence bank is below zero.

1. Identify the withdrawal centers – Know where the common places of withdrawal are.  It’s easy to get caught off guard when you aren’t paying attention.  But, when you identify the withdrawal centers, you can put things in place to create the adjustments necessary for your success.

2. Set up your day so big deposits come first – Whether it is through affirmations, meditations, listening to podcasts or audiobooks, exercising…whatever it is, figure out what you can do to create deposits as early in your day as possible.  You might begin with simply reminding yourself of your most recent accomplishment.  Another easy way is simply beginning with gratitude.  What is happening in your life for which you are thankful?  SomeOne thought you were amazing enough to bless you.

3. Adjust your lens outward – Who can you help?  Who can you teach?  Whose life can you make just a smidge better?  What can you do today to create some impact?  Who can you transfer powerful energy to?  Take a moment to find someone who you can give a genuine smile, a kind word or create a moment of happiness in their day.

4. Limit your exposure – You’ve already identified the withdrawal centers.  Now, limit your exposure.  You may HAVE to be in an environment of withdrawal.  Maybe it’s where you work.  Maybe, it’s your home.  You can overdose on positive and amp up your personal deposits.  But, you are only one person, so sometimes the deposits will need to come from outside of you.  If your environment is continually toxic, eventually your power will erode and your ability to personally inject deposits will be dampened.

So, you may need to take frequent walks.  You may need to schedule time outside of that environment.  What can you do to remove yourself regularly?  If the withdrawal center is social media, what can you do to limit your time?  (On my Mac, I use an app called SelfControl.  You can also use another Chrome plugin called BlockSite to help you with limiting your time.  Available for Firefox also.)

The more confident you are daily, the more drive you have towards your goals.  The more deposits you can make, the greater your chances of achieving.  But, be sure not to confuse confidence with arrogance.  Arrogance can block you from seeing the areas where growth is needed.  Simply choose to be confident because confident people are not only achievers, they are also willing learners.